Thanksgivings Past and Thanksgivings Future… A Family Divided

Every year my mom hosts Thanksgiving. From the time I was little right up until now, she would cook for hours and hours and put on a food-induced coma of a feast. My uncle joins us and when my mother in law moved in to my parent’s apartment about 7 years ago, my mom began having my mother in law and Army Boy's sister and brother (and whomever they might be dating at the time) over along with Army Boy and my kids and I. My kids got a two for one deal; they were able to see both sides of the family, in one large gathering. The in law side of the family sometimes outnumbered my mom’s ‘real family’ but she still hosted the dinner every year, doing most of the work involved in having 10-12 people eat at your house. I think my mom enjoys it or she puts on a good show that she doesn't mind doing it, she’s never complained and we all devour a grand meal every time. 

A few days ago my mother in law was talking to my mom about my sister in law’s new boyfriend. My mother in law wondered out loud if my sister in law would be bringing her new boyfriend to Thanksgiving this year. My mom told me later that she didn't say anything because she wanted to speak to me first. My mom said that she has no intention of hosting Thanksgiving dinner for my in laws this year. She’ll still make a meal for my uncle and my kids and me but the invitation for the in laws has been revoked. 

I asked my mom if maybe my mother in law was planning on hosting her own Thanksgiving and that’s where my sister in law would bring her boyfriend. My mom said no, that family is a family of takers and not givers, and my mother in law definitely was not meaning that she was going to have her own meal. For my mom to say that about anyone is a little shocking. My mom sees the best in everyone, she rarely puts anyone down. She even defended Army Boy recently and said that it seems like he’s trying to be a more involved parent and that we need to give him the benefit of the doubt. (Yeah I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt right after I run him over a few times with my car.) My mom said she’s going to tell my mother in law that she can host her own Thanksgiving dinner and invite her own children (including Army Boy). She said that she'll make it clear that my Dad won’t kill Army Boy when he drives up to my mother in law’s apartment so Army Boy won't have a convenient excuse not to attend. 

What a strange Thanksgiving this one is going to be. Even if my mother in law has Thanksgiving at her apartment and Army Boy goes, it’s going to be so foreign to what the kids are used to. I have some doubts that Army Boy is going to dare to step foot in a house that my parents own plus he hasn't seen his mother since she had her surgery in May. To say he's not close to his family or interested in being with them in an understatement. I’m sure my kids will adjust, they are troopers and seem to be rolling with whatever changes come their way but it makes me sad that the years of combined family holidays are over.