The other night my son was on the phone with his father and he was telling him that we were going to see The Hobbit the next day. My son held the phone away from his face and said, 'Mommy, can I ask Daddy to go with us?' I must have winced because my son said, 'You don't want him to go with us DO YOU?!' I didn't know exactly what to do so I said he could invite him if he wanted and he did. Immediately after my son hung up the phone, I got a text from his father. (I'm training myself not to call him Army Boy anymore. I'm done with that level of immaturity.) 'Do you want me to go to the movies with you?' I'll give their dad some credit. He must have heard my son's exclamation and was checking to see what I thought. Yes, you can go, I said, it would make our son happy.
I had a few doubts when I thought how weird it sounded to be going to the movies together. Freshly divorced and on a family outing? Hmmm.That's just a little bizarre maybe but whatever. I never said I was normal.
During one particularly scary scene in The Hobbit (that dragon is FREAKY), I felt my son's hand creep into mine and I raised it up to give it a kiss. I looked over and saw my son's other hand clasped tightly in his father's hand. And a thought popped into my head - all is right at this moment in my son's world. He's got his mom and his dad sitting on either side of him and he's enjoying the movie that he's been begging to see. Any discomfort that I might have felt withered away. Divorce doesn't come with a playbook and each family and situation is different. I do what I feel is best for my kids. Period. End of story.
rock on mom! I love how you put the kids first and rise above if only all divorced parents could be so mature
ReplyDeleteI will miss "armyboy" LOL
I agree with fenix. You are doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI won't disagree, and I think you are exactly right, every person's situation is different. I am curious if you had the "what it means to be divorced" talk with your kids? Are you going to be mentally OK with him never inviting you to outings during his parenting time? I do understand you wanting to do what's best for the kids, I go get it....just remember that if kids don't understand the boundaries, they will always want and think there is a chance for you guys to get back together. And make sure your continued open door policy with your X whenever he wants to hang out because you guys are doing something fun doesn't hurt you in the future. It's easy to say the now the papers are signed, you can move on...But does the hurt and rage every truly go away after the infidelity???
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