Personal Assistant Wanted

Do you like to pick up balls dropped by others? Can you grocery shop and put gas in a car? Can you remember to feed the dog and help two children with their nightly homework? Do you enjoy helping someone else keep the crazy away because her ass doesn't sit down at home unless she's going to bed? Would you like to be paid in peanuts and drowned in effusive praise and overwhelming gratitude? Send your resume...hell no, show up at my door and you're hired.