You Can Run But You Can't Hide

Do you know what sucks? Dating when you're 40. Let's bring you up to speed. 

Yup, I went out with Mr Restraining Order. He was nice. I don't think he got my sense of humor though. He said 'that's funny' a few times. If you have to say 'that's funny' then you probably don't mean it. We were supposed to go on another date tonight but he had to put weed killer on his lawn. True story. I think he's not into me but I'm not really sure. Lmao. We will likely be friends 'cause he's local and runs in my same crowd. Which means he can't hide from me, poor bastard. 

Since Mr Weed Killer (new name for him) canceled, I went out with fresh meat tonight. This was entertaining. The guy had told me he was on sabbatical from working. Which I thought was a joke. No, no, no. He's unemployed and lives in a trailer. I've never lived in a trailer and certainly never want to. When he told me he only lets his 10 year old son watch cartoon movies, I knew we were not soulmates since my 10 year old daughter has seen The Hunger Games and World War Z (it's okay, you can judge me). He texted me afterwards and said he had fun. We will probably be texting friends. I'm nice like that. 

At first I was depressed. Then I went home and started chatting with the perv I met online. He offers sex on a daily basis. He says - I can come to you. I can meet you at a hotel. I can blah, blah, blah. He's into me. Wait, he's only seen two pictures of me? And never met me in person? Well, it's obviously true love I'm sure. Haha. At least he's honest in his perversion. And he's quite entertaining when I'm a little lonely. 

Can't wait to see what the next guy is like that the internet spits at me.