I have no idea how or why I got notified to receive online access to this account. Am I joint on the card? I wouldn't think so since it looks like a new account. Now I know what Army Boy paid for his car repairs though and it's not chump change. I'm starting to get worried that Army Boy is wracking up credit card debt and won't be able to pay me what I need to keep my house. I really fucking hate divorce.
I also got a voicemail about a reminder for a doctor's appointment that Army Boy apparently has this week. Seriously he hasn't changed his contact information yet? I hope the appointment is to treat a horrible STD that he's recently caught. It's probably some mundane thing but I'm just going to tell myself it's for an STD and laugh.
I finally told all our doctors, dentists, etc., to please change their contact numbers for my STBX from my home number to his work phone number. It felt exceedingly weird at first to lose the control and the knowledge of his appointments, since I had been his private secretary for decades. However, after the first five or so phone calls from doctors asking where he was and why he was late (nobody else was constantly reminding him where he was supposed to be, I guess), it was a relief that I didn't have to track him down, I didn't have to apologize to the person he blew off, I didn't have to reschedule for him, and I didn't have to even give a second thought to what he was or wasn't doing. Not my problem anymore.
ReplyDeleteI have, however, kept current with certain accounts, like the frequent flyer accounts, so that I can use the miles for the occasional free trip for myself. I have no idea why he hasn't changed any of the passwords, except for the one to his secret/work bank account, which is where I found a huge amount of incriminating evidence. I don't want to have to use it as leverage in the settlement, but I will if I have to.
You should find out, Kay, if your name IS on the new credit card. You don't want to be liable for his bad debt. Good luck.
Yes, I had training as a private secretary as well. Spock's brain as my friend at work calls it. Very hard to untrain yourself from that habit.
DeleteUse whatever you need to in order to get the settlement you deserve. Best of luck to you! I hope you take him to the cleaner's. (Yup, I'm sounding like a bitter soon to be ex wife. I'm going to embrace it.)
I need to put on my to do list to pull my credit report. Adding that to my never ending list of things to do tomorrow...
Thanks for reading and writing!
Crazy...I found out about so many things this way too. Speeding tickets in the area when he was supposedly out of town, doctors appointments (lightning may strike me for what I'm wishing), spending. I actually had something literally FALL ON MY SHOE,that clued me in that he was on vacation when he neglected to show up for a visit with the kids. It must be what comes from being legally joined to someone for so many years. I like to think of it as God letting me know something, either for information's sake or (as my therapist put it) to help me disconnect emotionally from this piece of crap. I hope it does that for you.
ReplyDeleteLiterally fall on your shoe?! LOL. That sounds like an intriguing story!
DeleteLightning is going to strike me too because I wish evil thoughts when I hear about doctor appointments.
Thanks for reading and writing!
Has the D been filed? If not, file and make sure it clearly states that any debt incurred by either party after the filing date is their own. My ex did this to "protect himself" and then spent over $20k on it. Since his paycheck was still going into the joint account, I paid the house bills and the card with it. Then I got sick of doing so and stopped. He maxed the card out and then bitched to me that I shouldn't have let him do that and that he should have me arrested....because not telling someone to be responsible is apparently a crime...the card had $5k on it and he wanted me to pay it...I just referenced his filing which showed he chose to make it his own debt..which of course was the attorney's fault for not advising properly....always the victim never responsible for his own stuff. He'll the divorce has now been final since November 30th and he is engaged, yet according to the Air Force, I am still his wife and on his health insurance...which is my fault too I'm sure because I didn't tell him to remove me, he might have to do something on his own....
ReplyDeleteOh and btw when he did bitch me out, my response was, I can't protect you anymore, you fired me from that job, have Angela do it (she's the OW) boy oh boy was he speechless...lol
Ash
Yes, he filed for divorce without telling me. Handed me the papers the night he said he was fucking his whore.
DeleteYour ex is an idiot. You should be arrested? WTF. Delusional much? Apparently he still wants you to be in charge of everything even though he fired you from that job. Jackass.
You make me laugh Ash. All these douchebags are the same. Incompetent sick POS. Thanks for reading and writing!
Watch out. In most states, all debt is 50/50 until the divorce is FINAL. Whether your name is on his credit card account or not. Likewise, if you own a house together, just "awarding" the house to you in the divorce DOES NOT REMOVE HIM FROM THE DEBT. He can file a Deed in Lieu with the County giving you the rights to the property...but his name is still on the debt unless you refinance the property/loan. Any good divorce attorney would require you to refinance your home loan before he files a Deed to give up ownership, and would require you to do so within a set period of time (usually less than 24 months).
ReplyDeleteAny debt incurred at any time before, during, or while divorcing from the marriage is joint debt in most states. (Again, there are exceptions.) Get a copy of your credit report now, and pay to get another one 6 months after your divorce. Make sure to contest anything that is wrong! Protect your credit above all else.
Less than 24 months for the refinance? Ugh. I hope I can do it in that time. I'm not sure.
DeleteThanks for your advice. I've added to my to do list to get my credit report now and again later.
Thanks so much for reading and writing!