Today I went to pay the bills like I do every month. For some reason I checked the balance of one of my husband's loans and it had been paid off...last month. I think it might have been paid off even before I made last month's payment. I texted Army Boy to ask if he had paid it off and his response was 'I did'. I wanted to leap through the phone and say it would have been nice to know that, mother fucker, since I'm still paying the bills but I just gritted my teeth and did nothing. Communication is non-existent. Nil. Nada. I might as well be married to a fence post. Actually I would prefer that because then I could knock the fence post over and my troubles would be gone.
I'm leaning towards putting the house on the market like NOW. Are there any realtors who would come over at 11PM and stick the sign on my front lawn? I'm hoping my husband will somehow find out that I'm selling the house even though he's in another state for a month. I hope he texts me and asks if I put the house on the market and my response will be 'I did.'
"I'm hoping my husband will somehow find out that I'm selling the house even though he's in another state for a month. I hope he texts me and asks if I put the house on the market and my response will be 'I did.'"
ReplyDeleteKay, please consider letting go of any "hope" you have about him. Let. it. go. The sooner you are able to start acting in a manner that benefits YOU and forget about what the response is from HIM, the sooner you will be free. You can no sooner make him communicate than you can make him respond in a way favorable to you. His non-communication reveals his lack of desire to engage, but it reveals him for who he is in this moment and allows you to respond in a manner that is most optimal for you and your kids.
I know it is hard, but you have to take him out of the equation as best you can. You will not believe the power and utter freedom you will gain by not considering him in anything you do.
You are loved, Kay. By people who have your best interests at heart. He doesn't and you can't keep expecting he somehow will. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Kay, you deserve a good life, and you are well able to obtain it.
It's difficult to read your words but thank you for writing them. I can see the wisdom in them.
DeleteI'm going to repeat to myself 'Let.it.go.' over and over because I really need to do that. I must just consider what is best for the kids and I, giving no thought about him.
Thanks for your advice. It means a lot to me.
I am sorry to say words that are difficult, and how lovely that you take them so graciously. And how kind you are to allow me to pontificate!
DeleteYou really have your head on straight, Kay, and I am not saying anything you don't already know, it is just that some times we all need the reminders. We're all on this journey together and we all have folks one or two steps ahead of any particular situation we find ourselves in who can turn around and give us a helping hand and the reminders we need.
I can remember when my ex left, for probably the first couple of years, I would have such anxiety, my chest would tighten up on me and I could barely take a breath. There just seemed like there were too many decisions to make and how in the h3ll would I know the right thing to do? But amazingly, life unfolded and things turned out okay. Not always perfect, but ALWAYS eventually okay, and always I had the truth whispered in my ear by those a step ahead of me.
Everyone's journey looks different, and what was good for me may not work for you, but I believe there are some general truths we can reinforce with each other. You are deserving of living a life that is as good as you can make it, not perfect, but YOUR life. I believe the more we can let go of what tethers and hinders our growth,the more steadily we find peace and move on to the next lesson. Because if I have learned anything, it is that there are always lessons!
Kay, you are in such a tough situation right now, but please trust it will get better. You are building your relationship muscles and learning what a healthy relationship not only looks like, but right now, what it DOESN'T look like! You will come out of this on the other side so much healthier and whole then you can imagine right now. There truly IS light at the end of the tunnel.
It is my prayer you feel at peace right now, regardless of how anything seems. Just breath in and out and take the next step.