I was finally able to get a mortgage person to email me back after three attempts to three different companies. Either they have more business than they can handle or they could sense I was a desperate divorcing woman and they didn't want to deal with me. My main question was about child support and alimony and could it be counted as income in order to qualify for a higher mortgage. The mortgage person said that you have to prove that you've been receiving court ordered support for at least six months and you need to prove that you will continue to receive it for at least three years after closing. Soooo, I can't even think about getting a mortgage until I've been divorced for at least six months. Unless I want the mortgage based on just my own salary and in the areas that I'm looking at, that should qualify me for a deluxe cardboard box on one-thousandth of an acre, indoor plumbing not included.
I'm once again evaluating my options. Stay in my house for a year and then I'll be able to prove at that point that I've been receiving child support for at least six months. (Whatever the amount of child support is, of course, since I still have no word on that). I could put my house on the market because it will probably take a while to sell it. But then if it sells more quickly than six months, I'm left scurrying to find a place for us to live. Or I could just move in with my parents right off while I try to sell the house. That means the kids start school in my parents' town and buying a home in our current town is off the table because I don't want the kids to have to yoyo back and forth between schools. Or I could maybe, maybe, plan on keeping my house because I might be able to qualify for the whole mortgage as long as child support is considered income. But I don't know if I still want that big expensive house. Confused yet? I hope so because I sure am.
Tonight my father said he had a plan. He's going to evict my mother in law who rents the other side of their duplex and then he's going to renovate it and let the kids and I live there rent free. He then laughed and said he hoped my mother in law hadn't heard him say that so I'm pretty sure he was joking. Then he asked me what I would do if my husband agrees to an amount of child support and then months later doesn't pay it. My mother said she knows what she'd do. Shoot him. And then she most definitely did not laugh so I'm pretty sure she wasn't joking. I love my parents.
Hi Kay,
ReplyDeleteFrustrated and confused dont even describe it properly. I just went through the refi process. I have a great guy from Nova who can help you. Granted we are not in the same state but he can get you the answers you are looking for. Do you have a lawyer? First, get a temp separation agreement. This will make sure he pays what he needs to pay until the divorce is final. If he is paying more than his share, then hold onto it until he becomes even more of a dick...which he will, I know that is hard to believe but it happens. Remember, this is a guy who feels bad when you call him on his shit....he has a lot of pent up anger and it will likely come out. Second, yes chi.d support and alimony will count as income. They will look at income, debt on cards, and the overall risk of the loan. Remember that any time your husband gets pissy, just remind him his career can be over in the blink of an eye. I am convinced this is the only reason my ex didnt get more nasty, he knew I could destroy him.
The refi guy is Gregg foster and his number is 520-370-4009. I am sure he can out you in contact with someone in your state. Tell him Ashley Hendrickson sent you...and if he forgets who I am remind him I am the girl whose husband left with a phone call from Saudi. Lol
Thanks so much. I do have a lawyer. The temp agreement is set up. Our finances are status quo so they are still pooled together mostly. Kind of ulcer inducing to be so financially intertwined still.
Delete'The girl whose husband left with a phone call from Saudi...' I fucking hate your husband...and mine.
Thanks so much for your advice!
I think you might have your answer - Get out from under that big house payment. Nothing good comes from being so indebted to our ex. Nothing. Live with your parents, sell the house, and take the time to find a darling place perfect for your new life and your new budget. Save any surplus for when your ex flakes. Which is a guarantee as the commenter above pointed out. I couldn't believe how good it felt to be in a place completely "free" of my ex. To be in rooms he had never been in and have stuff that was never his. I couldn't bear the thought of his cooties.
ReplyDeleteCooties... LOL. It does sound like heaven not to be exposed to their cooties!
DeleteThanks for reading and writing!
If he's in the military I'm thinking you should set up the payments to be automatic. That is with the divorce.
ReplyDeleteThat takes him and childish way out of the equation for you so long as he has a job with them.
Yes, I'll definitely request to have the payments be automatic. I certainly don't want to be waiting for the check each and every month!
DeleteThanks for reading and writing!
Hi! This is dragonfly3...otherwise known as Michelle Ridler. First, can I just say that I love your parents, too!?!
ReplyDeleteSeems like you are posting here and I LOVE to read what you have to say, so thought I would leave comments here. I seem to be going through a lot of the same things you are...like should I sell the house or stay??? If I sell, I might be able to get into something I may be able to afford on my own someday (when I get a job) and I wouldn't have such a big house to clean and maintain (we don't even need half of the space we have) But, the place I could buy is in an "affordable housing" area where the house prices are fixed to only go up a small percentage each year. This house is the only asset I have, my only retirement account. If I buy the other place, no retirement, no assets. Do I make my life easier now or later???
I so feel your dilemma. It's so difficult to try to weigh all the options and figure out what is the best. But I'm thinking that we should listen to what so many others have said - whatever you choose will be the path that you are supposed to follow and it will all work out.
DeleteGood luck deciding... My vote would be to keep your house for a while and really think about it, if that's an option?
Thanks for reading and writing!