I'm trying a new name on for size for my husband. I'm sick of calling him my husband. I don't really think about him that way anymore. He's just a cockroach that scuttled into my life and made himself at home for way too many years. I'd like to squash him but unfortunately he runs too fast.
I'm going to call him Army Boy today. I could call him Army Man but he really isn't a man at this point. He acts like a 12-year-old boy ignoring most of the responsibilities that he has. A boy who gets upset when things don't go his way and he runs off.
Army Boy is president of our homeowner's association (HOA). He never scheduled the last meeting of his reign before he motored off to find his happiness. Yesterday I was copied on a snarky neighborhood wide email from my next door neighbor who I'm pretty sure is part of the witness protection program. He rarely goes outside in daylight. Maybe he's a vampire (and not in an Edward kind of way). His email stated that the HOA meeting is three months overdue and he wasn't sure why and if there was a reason, HE was never informed what it was.
My immediate impulse was to send a response to my neighbors stating that Army Boy abdicated his role as leader of our street when the moving truck pulled up in front of our house. I really wanted to air some dirty laundry. We don't have a clothesline so I was ready to let our soiled linens hang in the virtual breeze. Then I thought why is this my responsibility, I'm not the President, so I forwarded the email to Army Boy. Twenty four hours later and I'm only hearing crickets in response. Color me surprised. Army Boy doesn't acknowledge anything uncomfortably related to his behavior of late. Ignore it and it's not there. Ignore it and someone else will take care of it. Unfortunately that is the case, SOMEONE else will take care of it. One more mess for me to clean up.
Why? Don't clean up his mess. You are not his mmama. Give the neighbor Army Boys cell number.
ReplyDeleteI should have! Another one of my neighbors is going to schedule the meeting and facilitate it. One more person picking up his slack. And people wonder why I'm still angry....
ReplyDeleteI'm just mean....I would tell them that he moved in w/ his new love and he won't be participating in meetings any longer since the neighborhood does not concern him any longer...if he isn't ashamed of his behavior then let it all hang out....and if he is...then he shouldn't do it.....
ReplyDelete'If he's ashamed, then he shouldn't do it.' That's my philosophy too. Act in private as you act in public. But I have my kids to consider and I don't know how many people I should air the dirty laundry to. I don't want to have any part in hurting my kids. Someone has to feel that way because Army Boy certainly doesn't care.
DeleteWe gave my ex a nick name too because I kept referring to him as "your father" to my boys. My 18 yr old said that he wasn't his father any longer so stop calling him that. So we now refer to him as Voldemort or "The One Who Shall Not Be Named". I also have some choice names I refer to him as that I'm sure you've all used too!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, I've definitely used those choice names as well. And I've also used Voldemort. That's a good name for someone whose name you can't bear to say out loud.
DeleteThanks for reading and writing.
Wow its so hard having a child with an ex husband! I sometimes find it hard to look at my son because he looks so much like him. The thing I hate the most is that I will always have him in my life, like a scar, thats the part that really gets me. I really really regret ever having got together with him. I have moved on and I have a great life now but he keeps finding ways of getting at me, and spoiling our lives, no matter how much I try to avoid him. I feel so frustrated sometimes, I even wrote this short bit (in the midst of rage):
ReplyDeleteLike a messenger of darkness he emerges unannounced, to steal the joy in the room. He appears wielding a knife below the smile, sowing seeds of dissent and confusion, planting a venomous vine of vengeance. There is no light where he stands, just an endless shadow, intangible yet real. He is the vice that cannot be broken, the shiver that cannot be shaken, the error that cannot be undone, the past that must, yet cannot be forgotten.
That we have a child together really feels like the punchline, jokes on me. I love my son but the ex makes it so hard to enjoy my new life. Why are some people like this?
I hear your frustration with always having the scar in your life. It's the gift that keeps on giving isn't it? It effing sucks so bad, sometimes I have all I can do not to scream out loud... or hire a hitman.
DeleteYour writing sends chills down my spine. Your ex sounds like a douchebag of the highest degree. I'm so sorry.
I wish I had an answer about why are some people like this. Just love your son and forget about the douchebag.
Thanks for reading and writing. Sorry we share a common bond.