Today I found out that the house we were planning on seeing tomorrow is now under contract. I'm a little disappointed to have an option taken away from me but maybe a little relieved that I don't have to weigh that in my mind anymore. There are no other feasible houses in my town so I guess we will keep our current home for at least the foreseeable future.
On a fun note, my sister and I took our kids to a minor league ball game with some friends. I noticed a few happy families there, mothers and fathers sitting like bookends next to their children. I didn't feel the overwhelming bitterness targeted at them like I normally do. Healing? Maybe, but I'm not sure I'd go that far.
As my so called other cheating half said- "you don't know what goes on behind closed doors, they maybe wishing they had the relationship that we portray" ie none of his friends know he is a cheating bastard but hey in one respect he could actually be right. Of all those happy families you saw, they probably hav a load of horrible problems going on behind closed doors. Looking at me when out with family, we look perfect but behind closed doors we are trying to work through the hell that he created and so far I am failing...
ReplyDeleteHe said the other day that he wanted the old me back (the me before I discovered the affair), carefree, not as self critical, happy... For crying out loud!!!
Also glad you are staying put. As long as he is paying stay put and as soon as he says he can't afford the extra then let him organise the selling. He isn't going to let the house be taken back by the bank and if he stops paying he will lose all the money he put in. Meanwhile squirrel away as much cash as possible for yr future and also in doing it this way your kids will blame their dad and not you. Also start going on dates yrself!!
So true, never judge a book by its cover. I need to keep that in mind, all is never as it appears.
DeleteThe old you back? Did you ask him if he had a time machine so he could go back and undo what he did and then you can be the old you? Freaking ridiculous.
I'm not a very good money saver but I need to learn fast. I'm going to need a nest egg so I don't go crazy with worry. I'm not sure about dating. I think I want to wait until the divorce is final. I just can't imagine dating someone when I'm still legally married. Makes me a little sick inside.
Thanks for writing!