And Then Things Got Ugly

I thought I had gotten off that plane to Crazytown. It turns out I was just on standby.

This week I had the pleasure of seeing my husband twice. Two nights in a row, how did I end up so lucky. After the kids went to bed (uh oh, the parenting through divorce class said don't do this), I asked my husband a question. 'Why is your paycheck less than it should be?'

He said, 'What?' I repeated the question. 'Oh, that wasn't supposed to happen until next month, it's for my rent,' he said.

'So you weren't going to tell me that I've got less money to pay our bills,' I stated. 'It was an honest mistake,' he said. I don't think my husband would recognize honest at this point if it walked up and introduced itself so pardon me for not being a believer.

I told him we needed to set up a temporary arrangement so I can depend on the money that I'm getting each month. And then the dance started about how he will take care of us but he's not signing anything and I said I don't trust anything he says and then he called me a vindictive bitch and I called him a piece of shit and things got ugly fast.

I didn't really board the flight to Crazytown until he said that I don't have any stress because I have a roof over my head and he's the one with ALL the stress. (Poor thing, he's currently living in less than ideal conditions.) No stress, no STRESS?! Where are my rage-filled glasses because I will be putting them on now. I cataloged my stresses for his listening pleasure and a few must have hit home because he stormed out and said he would put a bullet in his head and I would get nothing not even the $425,000 insurance policy. It wasn't the first time he's threatened suicide but it was the first time I didn't rush to tell him not to. This time I would have handed him the bullets. I can only hope he was thinking where is my weak, pathetic wife that consoles me and props me up and says don't talk like that? She doesn't live here any more. Her jaded, bitter twin is here and she recognizes your manipulations.

He came back a minute later, to make nice supposedly but he actually forgot his keys (heh heh).'I don't want to fight, I thought this could be amicable,' he says. (Why is the cheater always the one that says with a disappointed voice, I thought this could be amicable, as you call them a piece of shit for the seventh time in conversation.)

'If you want it to be amicable, then we need to figure out a temporary arrangement.' I said. But he's not willing to sign or agree to anything. Didn't we just do this dance?

Wow, so this is what toxic feels like.

**We have since exchanged emailed apologies for this incident, initiated by myself. I know this is not helping the situation. I once again got enticed by that plane to Crazytown. Thank God my ticket wasn't just one way. Note to self: do not have major discussions when I am PMSIng. Those hormones are lethal.