The Hat Story

Sometimes I'm amazed at the level of absurdity that I'm dealing with. Maybe it's just because it's my life. But there are two things in all of this that will never fail to make me smile or laugh endlessly. In addition to my wonderful children, I've got the hat story.

The hat story begin in 2011. What I remember about that day is arriving home and my daughter was almost in tears saying that Daddy was yelling and he was mad at our dog and that he had thrown away all the dog's toys. 'What happened?' I asked him. ''She ate my hat,' he yelled. I have to say I was a little embarrassed and did feel bad because this was the dog that I had gotten while he was deployed and he had never wanted her.

'I'm sorry,' I said, 'but did you have to throw away her toys? She's a dog, she doesn't understand.' And I was thinking what kind of example is that for our kids. He yelled and yelled and then stormed out of the house, leaving our daughter behind. She began sobbing and saying, "He left me behind." He was her t-ball coach and they had practice that evening but he just walked out and left his sobbing six year old daughter behind. I was so upset at his behavior that I didn't even bring her to practice. Let him make excuses about why she wasn't there. Instead I took the kids for ice cream.

When he got home that night, we talked and I said that I was sorry the dog ate his hat but he shouldn't have left our daughter behind. We agreed to disagree and it was done, or at least that's what I thought.

At our first marriage counseling appointment the counselor asked why my husband had the affair. My husband said 'life is too short to be unhappy' and then he said a few years ago he had a hat. A hat that he loved and that was given to him by a good friend. A hat that he got while he was deployed. He loved that hat. Then he told his version of that day. He said that my dog ate his hat and instead of giving him sympathy over it, I got angry. And then his exact words were, "That's when I realized that she didn't understand what was important to me." So he went online and found a woman who would understand. The lesson I learned: hats = important; marriage, fidelity, family, children, honor = not important. What I also learned: my husband is seriously messed up.

The next counseling session we sit down on the couch and the counselor says, "Last time we ended with the hat story." I swear to God with all the pain I was feeling about going through counseling and trying to figure out what had happened in our marriage, I still almost burst out laughing. 'The hat story.' I can imagine the counselor saying to his next clients, 'Well, you're both messed up but at least your husband didn't have an affair because of a hat. There's hope for you.' I can imagine him writing a book about his cases and naming that chapter 'The Hat Story'.

Last night that same dog who ate that hat (and wasn't allowed on the furniture by my husband) got on the couch and curled up next to me. I texted a picture of her to my sister to show her how cute she was. My sister said, "She's thinking it took that prick long enough to move out. I chewed that hat months ago."

Laughter IS the best medicine.