A letter that I sent to Chump Lady was featured on her site today. Check it out.
* Kidney stone pain is worse tonight than it's been all along. I'm looking longingly at every sharp object in the kitchen wishing I could remove the offensive stone myself. Luckily my mother has gone to bed because I'm sure seeing her 39-year old daughter crying would be a real downer.
Love chump lady! I follow both of you daily.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're here! I will try to be more upbeat and less of a chump once I get the stone out. :)
DeleteI found your blog from Chump Lady's site. :-)
ReplyDeleteKidney stones are the most painful thing in the world, the kind of pain that can take a grown person to their knees. Hope you're feeling better very soon!
Thanks for visiting and for confirming the pain of a stone. Sometimes I think maybe I'm just a baby but then the pain strikes again and I'm like - nope, this fucking hurts!
DeleteI found your blog on Chump Lady's site also. I am reading your posts and can very much relate (except, I'm glad to say, I haven't experienced a kidney stone and I'm so sorry you are going through that along with everything else)
ReplyDeleteAlmost 4 years ago, I started the divorce process after my husband confessed to falling in love with someone else. He managed to fall for his soul mate while I was pregnant with our first child (a long awaited pregnancy and planned for after 5 years of what I thought was a "stable" marriage).
I can relate to your posts and am glad I found your site on Chump Lady. 4 years later, I can say that the pain has changed from the initial pain after his confessions. The pain isn't gone, but it's different. I don't really know what a "normal" life would be anymore - I thought I had a normal life and now my memories just feel false and inaccurate.
There have been a lot of moments of feeling peace and quiet with my son and enjoying the moments with just us. There are moments when it's excruciating to be without a husband who loves me and wants to be a family. I've experienced a balance of both of those feelings of peace and pain. The good thing I can pass on to you is that those moments of pain and darkness.. in those moments, I feel so stuck, like the pain will never pass, but it does. Sometimes it passes in a day, or an hour, or a week. Each time, the feeling does pass.
I wish the same for you in those moments. I hope you feel better soon.
- Carrie
Your husband fell in love with someone else when you were pregnant? That's fucking horrible. He belongs in Dante's most painful circle of hell for that. I can not fathom how someone could possibly do that.
DeleteYour son is lucky to have you. I wish the both of you the greatest happiness. Our children are the greatest pleasure/treasure in our lives. We are blessed to have them.
Thanks for giving me hope that the pain passes.
I just typed a long response and lost it when I clicked Publish! The page was lost. Anyway! Thank you for the validation and for being shocked. It helps as a reminder that what he did was horrible. As each year passed, unfortunately, his actions weren't necessarily treated as a big deal. He's had very little fallout as far as I can see. He didn't lose any friendships or family relationships because of it. I don't know that he has shown to anyone else the Jekyll-Hyde version of him that I experienced.
ReplyDeleteHe has the personality type of the funny guy who is creative, artistic... etc. Looking at him, you probably see someone who appears to be a nice person and someone who is likeable and funny. I made many assumptions about him based on appearances.
The little fallout is what kills me. You can hurt someone so badly and have no repercussions? That's just not right. I can only hope there are unseen repercussions like deep seeded unhappiness that never wanes and then death brings more pain in the bowels of hell. Can you tell I'm in a bitter stage right now?
DeleteYes she sure is! She speaks it like it is. I refer to her posts every day especially 'Trust That They Suck'.
ReplyDelete