It's amazing how something that you worried so much over can end up being so anticlimactic. This week we had our first divorce court meeting. (Sounds like a bad tv show doesn't it?) It was to establish temporary child rights and responsibilities and child support. I let myself get into a real mass of nerves over this. I thought my husband might fight for 50/50 custody of the kids or even full custody and I imagined having to call in character witnesses to confirm why I should have the kids most of the time. I visualized parading the school principal and teachers in front of the court to attest what a wonderful parent I am. That was last week though. This week all I could think about was finding a way out of going since my stomach hurts so damn bad.
Since I am more or less consumed by the kidney stone, the court meeting ended up being just a bothersome blip on my pain radar. My lawyer took care of everything and my husband agreed to everything that I asked for. I have full custody of the kids and he sees them one night every other weekend - which won't start until June 1 to give him time to 'get his new apartment' set up. The old me, the one without a needle stabbing her in the gut constantly, would have worried about that being three weeks away and is he just not going to see them for a while? Or will he just text me out of the blue and say he wants to pop over? But feeling so crappy has made me realize you only have so much room in your mind for worry. Right now the worry of the divorce is shoved to the side as I deal with hibernating on the couch because it hurts too much to move around. My mother is staying with me and is chauffeuring the kids around to all their sporting events so that life still goes on for them. I worry about how long the nausea will be gone so I can eat something without throwing it back up. I worry about how long the pain meds will make me comfortable and how many times I'll wake up in the middle of the night wanting to curl into a ball. I no longer worry about why my husband wasn't happy enough here with our children and myself. At this point, all I care about is getting this annoying kidney stone out so the kids and I can participate in the business of living again instead of being stuck in a holding pattern.
* As a sidenote, my husband never even texted me to say Happy Mother's Day. Should I have expected him to? I don't know but I did and my feelings are hurt. Thanks Asshole, adding that to your lengthy résumé for husband/father of the year.
He should have texted you Happy Mother's Day. You are the mother of his children. He's being petty and immature. Believe me he will regret his poor choices. I am sure he didn't want to send you well wishes for Mothers Day because it would have forced him to reflect on himself. You are a great mom. Your kids already know and believe me they wont forget. Sending you best wishes for your speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteThanks flaca. I don't think he wished his mom Happy Mother's Day either (she didn't mention that he had) so I'm in good company.
DeleteI agree with Flaca! My ex sends me a text wishing me Happy Mothers Day every single year. I don't remember if he did that the year of our divorce. My divorce took a grueling 11 months and at that time we weren't on the greatest of terms or speaking to each other. It does get better and I hope for your kids sake he shapes up. It is always surprising to me that dads will just give up on their kids when it wasn't their fault and they didn't do anything wrong. Hang in there and I hope the stone passes soon! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThanks! The thing that makes me the most mad is that our kids didn't deserve any of this. Not that any kids do. It's just the hand that they are dealt and now they have to try to deal with it the best they can. Makes me so angry I could scream.
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