Insulation

'Why is our family so different now?' my daughter questioned at bedtime. 'You mean because we're going through some hard times right now?' I asked. She nodded. 'All of our bad times are happening at once but we'll get through it and things will get better,' I said. She snuggled down in bed and didn't say anything more. 

My heart aches for my kids. Their grandmother's cancer, the divorce, my kidney stone. Any one of those things would be enough to worry a child but having them all pile on their small shoulders at once makes my heart literally hurt for them. I want to protect them, shield them from everything. But I won't. Life is hard sometimes and unless you're living in a fairy tale, nobody has a perfectly charmed existence. 

Today I took the kids to visit their grandmother. I wasn't sure if they would be freaked out by the tubes coming out of her or not. I wasn't sure if having them visit her was the right thing to do or not. But I remember when I was in college my grandmother passed away one night and my mom didn't call me until the next morning to let me know. I always imagined my parents grieving alone that night while they were shielding me from that midnight phone call. I know my parents thought that was the right decision to make but I disagree. As parents we want to insulate our children from pain and suffering but families are strongest when they are leaning on each other and sharing the weight of those hard times. 

My kids didn't react much to the tubes or the sight of Grandma laying in the hospital bed. To them she was still just Grandma and they talked to her and laughed and giggled. I think the sun rises and sets on my kids so I might be a bit biased but when my children walked through that hospital room doorway and my mother in law saw them, her eyes seemed to sparkle a little brighter. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she thinks the sun rises and sets on my kids too.